The Last "See You Later"

"Ready?"

I absolutely wasn't and neither was he. But we didn't have a choice. It was our last "see you later" but only for two years. (That's what I keep reminding myself, it's only two years, not eternity)

I was fully expecting and knowing it would be hard. I knew we would both cry. I didn't realize that it WOULD be the most difficult and heartbreaking thing I have EVER done. It honestly was. It's weird having a heartache so bad that it feels like it is literally breaking your heart inside your body, but that's what it was. I think the hardest thing for me now, one day in (I guess? He hasn't reported yet, and my Stevens family all left only an hour ago) is knowing that when he cries, I can't be the one to give him a hug and hold him. Not being there for him when he is sad is hurting. SO, this means that he needs to be so incredibly happy (he will be, I have faith) so I can be happy so we can just have lots of happy hugs and kisses when he gets home.

It is crazy how so many emotions can be felt in one day, even one moment.
We laughed, we hugged, we cried, we kissed, we laughed some more.

The actual goodbye at my front door is so close to my heart and personal between just Brandon and I, I don't want to share that. It will be something I always carry with me and think about.

I'm holding up surprisingly well today. I have prayed for the same for Brandon, to feel comfort and love in abundance. I think part of it is because I knew that he was still just a quarter mile away from me, and he is still my Brandon and nothing has changed yet, except for the being ordained a missionary officially.

It'll hit me hard when he actually reports and then we are on a just letter and package basis.

For now, things are just crazy. But I do know that this will be an amazing incredible journey for him, and we will both grow so much. There will be so many blessings, for those he will come in contact with, himself, his family, and myself. I am blessed to have such an INCREDIBLE man.

One day, down.

Much Love, Olive